Menopause, my love

What is menopause?

The announced death of who I am as a woman? Or the great mystery of a rebirth ?
What does the word "menopause" evoke for you ?
What does that touch in you ?

In a world where almost everything is moving faster and faster, where impatience lurks at each of our slowdowns, it is interesting to pause and reflect on it for a few moments.

Are you excited about this idea ?
Or, are you saying that it's better not to think about it, for fear that it will make it happen faster ?
What will you see when the time comes ?
Or perhaps, it's a non-issue and it doesn't concern you ?

Moreover, perhaps apart from what the media and society say about it, you don't exactly know what is happening there.

In any case, the certainty today is that menopause is a taboo subject, poorly addressed, and unloved... making us even less eager to go through this period and reach the age where many women imagine it is the end of everything for them.

What if I told you that it is possible to prepare for menopause and go through this period with joy and reconnection to oneself?
That this is the ideal time to prioritize oneself, and to become active and an actor in one's life, creative and a creator of one's daily life.
Let's redefine together what exactly this period is.

What are the different phases of menopause?

At puberty, you experience menarche with the arrival of your first menstruation, then for 35 to 40 years, you are under the influence of your menstrual cycle, and menopause marks the day of your last menstruation.
To discuss menopause, several terms are used in our Western society:

Perimenopause:

It is the period that precedes menopause by a few years, marked by hormonal imbalance, accompanied by the appearance, or not, of certain discomforts such as irregular menstrual cycles, hot flashes, mood swings... and who knows what else. And above all, for me, it comes with a desire for change, to get closer to who I really am, to break out of the mold in which I have allowed myself to be. It is the ideal time to redefine oneself as a woman. It is also the time to sort through our lives, because everything we have left dormant or swept under the rug comes back to us... and we are invited to revisit these neglected aspects.

Menopause:

It is the D-day of the last menstruation. This also means that our hormonal status is changing because the ovaries are signaling to us that it is no longer the time for procreation. It is no longer the time to be a mother.
At menopause, I am no longer fertile to perpetuate the human species; I become fertile for myself. In service of what do I place my fertility for this second part of life that is offered to me ?

Post-menopause:

It is the period that follows menopause, where discomforts may be present, where we can still be influenced by the energetic memory of our menstrual cycle, where we settle into this life without a cycle. It is the time of adjustment to our new reality.

Perimenopause:

This term encompasses the previous three periods and clearly indicates that menopause does not just suddenly happen without warning. It is indeed a transitional period that spans several years, and our entire experience with our menstrual cycle helps us better understand and navigate this phase. The way we experienced our puberty with the onset of our cyclical nature, and our premenstrual phase (the week just before menstruation), are all indicators of how we will go through perimenopause.

What happens after menopause?

In Chinese tradition, it is a question of the Second spring of the woman to discuss this stage of menopause.

It is already more poetic and frees us from confining terms. Menopause is not simply seen as the cessation of a function, because let's be clear, we are so much more expansive than everything that is said about us and that we may have become accustomed to believing as true.

The second spring is that time when ...

• The woman becomes complete thanks to everything she has been through.
• where she becomes available to herself, to deploy her potentials and creative talents,
• "where she is fully in her place."

It is time to shed the superfluous in our relationship with ourselves and to be deeply sincere with our essential being.

This second spring comes to swirl our lives, so let's allow ourselves to join its dance.

What a stroke of luck to achieve that, don't you think ?
For me, it immediately made me want to set off, to go and meet this second spring.

And time proved me right... I discovered that it wasn't an end goal, that it doesn't stop as a destination to reach. The second spring is this entire journey, this process that can be implemented to prepare for and navigate perimenopause with more understanding, joy, awareness, choices for oneself, and renewal.

How to best support menopause ?

What I notice and what is often lacking in the support during this transitional phase in our lives as women is the understanding of the holistic and initiatory dimension of menopause.
Holistic because summarizing menopause as the cessation of hormonal functionality disconnects the woman from everything she experiences and constitutes her.

And for me, there are 5 fundamental pillars to consider in the support of perimenopause:

• Self-love, which takes care of our thoughts, our nervous system, our history, our beliefs, our connection to ourselves and to others.
• Food, by bringing it back to what it is, and by dissociating it as much as possible from our emotions.
• The connection to the body, with movement which is the nourishment of our body, sleep, and breathing, which is this breath of life that flows through us.
• The feminine energy to ground and center ourselves, which allows us to reconnect with the living and vibrant sexual energy.
• The connection to nature deeply rejuvenates us and reconnects us with our ancestral wisdom.

Initiatory, because during this period we are asked to get a little closer to who we really are. To meet our needs, our values, our history, and to seize the invitation to bring renewal into our lives.

Why prepare for menopause?

Faced with menopause, I see several options:

• "To let oneself be swayed by what will happen and endure this transition,"
• That of taking hormone replacement therapy for menopause (if there are no contraindications), and trusting something outside of yourself,
• "That of becoming the actress of her life by cooperating with the situation,"
• Not even realizing that perimenopause is happening because you are on hormonal contraceptives,
• "That of waiting and seeing because you have confidence in what is going to happen,"
• ... your own option ...

All these options are good as long as you decide and choose for yourself, for your overall health, having all the information at hand.

Today, to prepare you for menopause, I propose a rather unique journey, a crossing, the transatlantic.
Imagine that you are offered the opportunity to embark on a sailboat, alone, to cross the Atlantic.
Would it occur to you to accept without any knowledge of the ocean, the tides, the warm or cold currents, how they meet, the wind, the sky... all these external elements?
Nor having any knowledge of sailing: the ropes, the knots, the different sails, when and how to use them, the helm, maneuvers in the port or at sea... all these internal elements.
"Not even knowing how to swim."

Would you embark under these conditions ?
For my part, the answer is no.

I would accept this proposal if I have the time...

• To learn to swim,
• To know my boat well,
• To have confidence in what I can do with my boat.
• To learn everything about the Atlantic Ocean, the winds, the currents, the tides

I would accept this proposal if I know that I am supported.

And once I have acquired all this knowledge and these skills, I would then like to meet people who are more experienced than I am and who have already made this journey. Gather their experiences, their advice, and make them my own. Realize that even experienced people encounter difficulties in this adventure.

And at the same time, I will start training, probably for several years off the coast of Vendée before setting off.

Knowing the winds, the tides, knowing my boat perfectly and what it is capable of, ensuring training that amplifies my experience, all of this means that I will be more able to confidently navigate the various situations I will encounter.

There will probably be many unknowns, but at least I will have within me the resources to keep moving forward and to enjoy myself.

The benefits of preparing for menopause:

Preparing for menopause is like getting ready for a transatlantic journey or a trip to another land. It's a mix of stress, joy, excitement, curiosity, and an incredible desire to discover the customs and traditions of this distant land... which will sometimes enchant you, surprise you, and other times will challenge you, but you are ready and enthusiastic to discover it all.

At present, would it occur to you to approach menopause without ever having thought about it ?
Why is it so important to prepare for perimenopause ?

First of all, to wake us up and get us out of the autopilot mode of our lives in which we often find ourselves.

And that brings us to:

• Taking an interest in what is happening to oneself,
• Decide what we want for ourselves, and thus plant each day the seeds that will bloom tomorrow.
• Connecting with our body, which is our best guide on earth because it is through it that we experience our existence.
• Better know and understand our own way of functioning, and thus amplify our feminine power.
• Arrive at menopause in the best possible shape.
• Learning to cooperate with our discomforts.
• Having resources to get through this period as best as possible.
• Becoming the actress of your life.
• Learn to say what is happening for yourself.
• Achieve your secret projects.
• Prioritize yourself and know how to say true "yes" and true "no".
• Learn to truly relax, and understand its importance.
• Connect with nature.
• Reconnecting with one's own power.
• ... add here your own benefits of embarking on the journey towards menopause.

How to live well through menopause ?

How could you prepare to go through this period? And for which we have one certainty: that we will go through it one day. We know it.

Where to start ?

Preparing for perimenopause means gaining a better understanding of how you function, influenced by your menstrual cycle, in connection with your daily life. This includes your stress, emotions, diet, activities, relationships, etc.
It is this experience that you acquire before the great journey through perimenopause.

The suggestion here is to observe how your menstrual cycle unfolds:

• How do I recognize the different phases of my cycle ?
• How do I screw them in ?
• How do I connect to my vitality throughout the month? Energetic, physical, emotional, mental, psychic.
• How is my connection with myself and with others depending on the different phases ?
• What are my needs and desires throughout the month ?
• What do I feel when I have less energy and can't do everything I would like ?
• At what point in the cycle am I the hungriest? When am I most tempted by sweets? Or most struggling with food cravings ?
• How is my sleep ?
• Am I sensitive to lunar cycles ?
• What is my favorite season? And for what reasons ?
• Which one do I like the least, and for what reasons as well ?

So many questions lead you to become more aware of yourself, and once this awareness takes hold, linked to a sharper presence, you also become more powerful because you are less unconsciously subjected to your own repetitive patterns.

In any case, there is a period that is easily recognizable and that I encourage you to cherish: menstruation.
This phase is the period of calm in your cycle, and it is an invitation to connect with yourself with more gentleness and depth.
It is THE time to rest, regenerate, and recover to have better fitness and vitality for the rest of the month.

Does that surprise you? Try it yourself and share your experience with me.

To go further, watch my interview by Aurélie Viard, about my book "Menopause, Metamorphosis".

Pascaline Lumbroso